Grief and loss are the most profound sorrows in this life. Your pain, confusion and frustration is all a natural part of grief, and every person handles grief differently, even if you are grieving the loss of the same person. Your grief as well as your journey through grief is unique. Grief in children even looks different from grief in adults. Some days you may feel like you are handling everything quite well, and then other days you may feel like you are losing your mind. Like the tide, grief ebbs and flows.  It is all a part of the grief process.  

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Sometimes it helps to process grief with someone other than family and friends, someone who is able and willing to listen to you as someone who is not part of your grief.  If you have other loved ones journeying through grief along with you, there is often great relief found in talking about your grief jouney with someone removed from your family.  I would consider it an honor to be that person and to help you in any way I can.